please note, all content and images shown on this journal are ©2006 jamie smart. please ask permission before reproducing.
this is the stoner kid who weaves the aforementioned tapeworm story in the comic, he doesn't play a major part but will come more to the fore later in the series. as you might tell i don't quite have his name down yet, though i have a rough idea of the kind of name i want it to be. sure he'll come together when he needs to.
thanks for the input on the tapeworm story, it was interesting to hear how people responded to it. by and large the response seemed positive, but i'm still unsure as to whether it fits in with the tone of the rest of the story. seriously, this is never something that was an issue with Bear, putting a story about a tapeworm in would have been quite easy. but here, for some reason, i'm really unsure.
this week has been crap for work, my plan of gettinig up early and working 12 hours a day has gone thpbhthhh, and i've only done a few pages at most this week. i have nothing to blame for it, it's solely down to me being lazy and not knuckling down when i should. maybe someday soon the realisation that as long as i'm working on this comic, i'm not earning any money, will dawn on me and spur me into gear. i think it's partly due to the bulk of the comic being quite slow-paced, and i'm wanting to draw more action stuff. but this is all groundwork that needs to be laid, so it's still important. i'll get back into the groove soon. up until tuesday morning i won't have much chance to work on it, but from then on my week's pretty free.
i guess that's the update - i've been slacking off. also today i finally got the 400 photos developed from Boots for all the background research, took two weeks because for the first week they decided they didn't print from dvdr, but chose to wait till i came in to pick them up to tell me. anyway i got them now, slightly over exposed but good enough to work from, so i can start building this world, in my head at least.
so yeah. week (what is it, 3? 4?) and things ain't moving so great. but SOON. wheee! ^-^
while on a train on sunday, i wrote a story.
there are a couple of monologues/stories like this that crop up in the comic, by and large they're not immediately relevant to the story but they have an underlying resonance to the themes. i'm not sure whether to use this one though, i think it's a bit, well, nasty. don't get me wrong, some of the things in the comic aren't exactly pleasant or polite, but this story leaves me feeling a little grubby, and makes me worry that including it might slightly lower the tone of something which tastefully skates around bad taste.
i've reached the lull. i'm, hmm..maybe 13 pages in (i keep coming up with different totals every time i count), and i'm not sure what happened but it's been a real struggle actually attempting to draw anything today. i know all artists get this, and i get it frequently, but it's still a shock when you're merrily creating something fuelled solely by enthusiasm for it, and then you lose your momentum. from this point you have to push yourself forward.
don't get me wrong, i'm obviously still whoopla about this comic, right now i think it's the best thing i've done. that might be part of the problem though, in that i'm keen to get towards the end of it, since my mind's already there and my hand is trying to fill in the pages until then. the first two thirds or so of the comic is scene-setting, quite gentle getting to know everyone and just ambling about, before in the last third, where the pace changes (and as such, so do the things i'm drawing). and while it's fun and relaxing and interesting to be drawing this first part, i'll be honest i'm itching to get to the later stuff. at the moment i'm drawing alot of heads talking, and i think i'm starting to glaze over a bit now, which is a bad thing to do if you want to keep what you're doing looking fresh.
also, and possibly because of what i said above, the stuff i'm drawing at the moment's not so great. actually i think it's kinda shitty. it's passable, i wouldn't put it in if it wasn't, but to my own judgemental eye it doesn't look like it should. the heads are starting to get misshapen, the characters' bodies seem to be getting bigger (making them look older, contrary to what i thought would happen after a while, i thought my mind would try and make them cuter and younger), and the composition isn't so interesting. it's just been today and yesterday, but i can't get my groove back on. and when you draw something you're not keen on, the next thing you draw isn't as good either because you're disheartened by the first drawing (is that just me?).
i think also it's starting to wear on my feet. while i ink sitting down, which was perfect for Bear, i pencil standing up. i'm not sure why this is, maybe because getting the extra height lets me see better what i'm drawing (whereas inking, as you may know from chasing amy, is just tracing). but yeah so i'm basically spending all day standing up, hunched over my desk, which can't be beneficial to anyone. i need to rethink how i'm doing this.
ha, sorry, don't mean to moan. as i say, i'm still loving doing this, and humbled by the comments this journal's getting, but every now and then i'm bound to lose momentum a little bit. as anyone who knows me will testify, i get incredibly excitable about a new idea, but by the next week it's become boring and i've become excitable about some other idea. i'm fickle, i guess. i find it really hard to stick with doing one thing for a long time, i get bored so easily. but i can see myself enjoying this comic right till the end of the issue at least, so thats a good sign. i've got the next coupla days filled with family engagements so i'll be getting some time off to work out where the story's going next, so maybe that'll bring me back to it drawing like i think i should.
i still need to think of a f'in name for this comic, too... :p
Tubby is covered in butter. that's all we can really say at the moment.
when i was at school there was this kid in my year called Tubby. we'd just moved to a new area so i started getting the train to school every day, and got to know a small group of friends who did the same. Tubby was one of them. really nice guy. but everyone called him Tubby, always had, always did. it was at least a year before i even discovered his real name, and once i did i called him by that instead of his nickname, although i think by then he'd kinda forgotten what his real name sounds like. obviously when he first started school someone had called him Tubby and it had stuck, and in that cruel, unintentionally mentally-soul-destroying kinda way that could leave you with some serious issues, what was a taunt now was stuck as his name. turns out he was a very normal kid, he seemed to take it in good humour, although i'm sure it hurt. i found it incredibly unfair that he'd be stuck with this insult, even, defined by it.
I called my character Tubby not to make fun of him, not even as reference to this kid i knew. i called him that because i wanted to show how insults can become engrained on kids and no matter how much they hurt, people just won't quit doing it. tubby's a victim of the thoughtless, impulsive, naively cruel sensibilities of kids. i really hope i get this across, since i'm not going to spend my time making easy cracks at the fat kid. to be honest he's one of my favourites, partly because he's incredibly sweet in how he handles things, partly because i know what's going to happen to him later in the story and the things he goes through.
but also this refers to another thing that's been on my mind while writing this, the language of it. i want my characters to refer to things as retarded, gay, whatever. not because it's fun to be offensive, but because this is how they would talk. they're good people, but they're kids, and they talk in un-pc language. it's hardly me sitting here writing homophobic diatribes, rather, these words should be acceptable being used here because they're being used in CONTEXT. i know i'm probably overthinking it, and i know comics are filled with every kind of gratuity, but i'm also acutely aware that people can take what you're doing the wrong way, which is why i wanted to lay it down here. if anyone has any opinions on what i've said, i'd love to hear feedback. it'd be nice to get a feel for how a reader would respond to these kinda things.
but anyway. managing to do roughly a page a day, when i've finished typing this i gotta go scan the last 3 pages, something which in itself is taking a while since each picture needs to be adjusted and then made to fit a page. but right now i've still got alot of enthusiasm for this and haven't grown bored of drawing the same characters, which is a good sign. i've got a long train journey on sunday, i'm thinking i'll try and write more of the story then.
oh, and since the first post i have of course thrown away the pencil shavings a few times, and yet they always seem to amass incredibly quickly. couple this with my laziness at not clearing them away, even though they're right next to me, and soon you start to notice strange patterns in their form. soon i think they're going to evolve intelligence.
ps. thank you for the kind words on the Lhys drawing by the way, it was obviously very appreciated ^-^ while it'd be egotistical to say i only do my work for a response, it's incredibly gratifying when someone's nice about what i do and makes me want to do more of it...
lhys is the axis around which every other character, and the story itself, revolves, in ways i couldn't begin to explain. it's so nice having a character who by nature is very simplistic and yet plays a very complicated part in the scheme of things. allow me to be coy in the details, for obvious reasons, but the first issue ends with her part in the story beginning to be revealed in a way (i hope) wasn't expected.
as i said, i'm doing this whole book in pencil (although i'm considering inserting other media at points, where required), so what lies above these words is essentially a finished drawing, albeit one which i haven't yet treated (the plan is to tweak all the pencil drawings to introduce slight colour). obviously it makes me nervous putting something out that i'm calling finished, even though it may look like it's not. this was a conscious choice though, i wanted a sketchy look, some of the characters aren't always finished off - for me it feels very natural and organic to do things like this. and as i said before, it's still taking me as long to do a page as it did when i was inking. basically i draw each picture (there may be between one or six on a page) on it's own sheet of paper, treat it as its own drawing, then put the pictures together on t'puter. this means i can concentrate on each picture rather than subconsciously viewing it as part of a page, which i think is important.
the reasons i'm working in pencil are many. for a long time i'm been frustrated at how no matter how well you can ink something, it never retains the spontainaity of the pencil drawing underneath. inking something makes it different, even though it may be the same picture, it makes it graphic, rather than illustrated (in my mind, anyway). i always loved working in pencil, i loved the natural feel and look of it, and how it could be so much more expressive than ink, but i consigned myself to inking my comics because that's how i figured things worked.
then i started to notice other people had been pencilling comics for a while, most notably Herobear and the kid, and aaron a's serenity rose. both done beautifully, perfect examples of how pencil can be employed to express the most delicate of emotions and the most sweeping of actions. seeing that working entirely in pencil was possible, and not just 'being lazy', it put the idea in my head for a couple of years as to how i could do what i'd wanted to do for so long, that is make a comic that can't just be lumped into another 'goth' pigeonhole, but could stand on it's own merits. and as the idea for this comic came about, the concept and the style seemed to fit each other nicely.
meh, don't know if you're interested, but that's how i came to pencils. i'll still go back to inking sometimes, but for now pencils are working for me.
i noticed today i've done 11 pages of this comic, which is more than i thought. this is good but also a little worrying, i haven't filled in half of what i wanted to do so far which is, general scene-building. i've a feeling this comic is going to run well into 40 pages, if not more.
these are my weapons of choice.
it's not too bad, really. my sister is a glass artist, so has to buy raw glass along with grinding things, a big fat kiln, metals, things like that. me, i got two pencils, some putty rubber, and a pencil sharpener. so as careers go, i think i got the cheaper.
but i notice how much using different types of the same thing can affect what i'm drawing. this is a case in point, in the photo above are two pencils, both are 3B (which is the density i chose on for this project after trying out the range of B's. i find it's dark enough but still has enough lightness in it to stop it going fuzzy.) but the red pencil is from whsmith, the black from an art shop. i've been using the one from whsmith for the last week or so because the art shop ran out of theirs, and while it's still doing the job, it just doesn't quite feel the same. today, having bought up a bundle of the black ones, i'm back to using them, and it feels alot better. they have this distinct crumble every time you point them on a page, so for every first initial stroke you make you have to keep blowing graphite chunks away. and it feels more 'proper' to use, as a result the things i'm drawing with it have, i feel, more of a confidence about them, and make more of an impact. it feels like the medium is conveying what's in my head which, as any artist knows, is often a hard thing to find.
the point is it's unnerving that even though they're the same thing, because they're different makes of it, they're actively changing what i'm drawing. so would the comic be different if i was using different branded 4B pencils all the way through? ah pfft, fact is i've never been that adventurous in searching out new ways of doing things, i tend to find what i like and stick with it. it's served me okay so far.
other than that, i really haven't got much work done since thursday. part of this is due to general weekendyness, part of it due to the heat which has only just descended upon us. i don't mean to complain but the english are useless with the summer, soon as it gets warm we shut down and cease to function. i have no idea how people in california ever get things done. not only does it sap my motivation, but it also, obviously, makes me sweat, which doesn't lend itself to drawing finely with pencil as the paper starts to crease and the art starts to smudge. i have a quite noisy fan to ward away from that, but i'm still going to be a bit rubbish at getting this done during summer.
i think i need to set myself a deadline. so far i've drawn maybe 7 pages, and i've been working on it for a week and a half now (ish). i really need to step up my game, be putting out a page a day so within a month or two i have an issue done and can start to work on the 2nd issue, otherwise if this first issue drags on too long for me, my brain will start to get distracted by other things and not want to do a second issue. which would be an arse, because there's a story arc running through the issues that i want to see through.
i'll have to start getting up at 6 again. at least then i have the whole morning to get work done, before the heat sets in.i'm starting to reach the point where i'm becoming attached to these characters, and so i want to do justice to the comic as much as anything.
but right now, i want cake.
ps. i know i should be emailing people instead of writing these posts, if i'm being rude in taking my time i apologise, but i'll get there soon i swear ^-^
the change has started already.
i'm sure i'm not the only artist who notices the way he drew something a few pages ago is slightly different to how he draws it now. no matter how much you practice drawing a character before you start putting him into a comic, the way you draw them in the first page often looks quite different to how they do in the last. in my case, my mind has a natural tendency to make things cuter as it draws them, so very slightly a character's eyes might grow larger on their head, or their body might get smaller, or whatever. obviously it's natural to evolve how you draw, to better it and become completely comfortable with it, but it's annoying when it happens during the making of a comic.
then again, is it? though i'm going to find it hard to look back at the earlier pages when this thing is printed, just because of my own paranoias, i think maybe it makes a comic feel far more personable to see how the artist has grown page by page in what they're doing. as you're finding your feet in this comic, so are they. don't get me wrong, most of these changes happening are incredibly slight, and i'm well aware most people wouldn't notice it if i didn't point it out. so, yeah, i don't intend to. however i think it's obvious the differences in the first page of Bear drawn compared to the last.
i'm curious as to how this will turn out. if my motivation makes it to issue 6, as planned, i think everything will look different than issue 1 in one of two ways, either a) i'll have improved in what i'm drawing and it'll all look alot tighter, or b) i'll be so used to what i'm drawing i'll become tardy, and not putting the care into what i'm doing. that, then, is when i'll stop drawing it.
part of the reason i'm drawing in pencil is because i like the idea that you can see my mistakes, you can see the bits i rubbed out, you can see the marks my hand left. it's a very naturalistic way of doing it, i think. so to complain that any gradual change in what i'm drawing may be apparent is perhaps a bit dumb.
anyway, just thought i'd share. it's annoyed me as long as i've been drawing that what i draw evolves, so i have to go back and redo things in the new tighter style, even thought evolving your work can only ever be a good thing. maybe in this comic i can relax a bit more, and watch it happening with everyone else.
ps. i'll start posting images up next week.
**before i start on this post, you may notice that the images below are hard to read. this is on purpose. i'm unsure still as to how much i should be giving away, on the one hand i really want to show the finished work i've been doing with that enthusiasm you get when you've done something you like, that you just wanna show it to everyone, and of course if this journal's going to be about the making of a comic, i gotta really show what's happening in it. on the other hand, i'm loathe to give too much away about the story, the characters, even an outline of what the comic is, or indeed how it's going to look. i don't want to blow it before it's ready. yeah i know, this is a dumb attitude and probably being over-precious, but if anyone has any preference as to how much or how little they wanna see of this before it's finished, lemme know and it might give me a better idea of how much to give away..***
i haven't written much of this comic at all. to be honest i've been kinda scared to start, in my head i know the main characters, what happens, how they interact, the beginning middle and end, and all that stuff. but actually sitting down to make a coherant whole, i found very daunting. writing Bear was, forgive me, quite easy. partly because the set up was quite simplistic, partly because bear, looshkin and karl pretty much wrote themselves. being as they were, apparently, different sides of my schizophrenic brain, their characters were established as soon as they walked onto the page, and how they spoke to each other was a very natural and fluid process that i could pretty much sit back and watch.
here it's a little different, there are more main characters, and more supporting characters. not only that, but to get to the end of the comic (and indeed the series) they need to have told the story i'm trying to tell, in as interesting a way as possible while having dumb fun along the way. while i've known from the start how the two central characters act, i'm trying hard to not just fall into the slump of 'i've got cake on my head!' 'she's got cake on her head! release the ants!' 'augh!' etc. which is the random dialogue Bear often dipped into. here, while it would be stupid of me to stray too far from it since it's how i think, it needs to be upped a level i think.
more than this, i think i want to do the characters justice. i fell into doing comic books by accident, Bear was never intended to actually be read by anyone. this is the first time i'm trying to work on something which needs to be done right, and maybe that's why i'm a little tentative.
there are two things that always spring to mind when i'm working on something new. the first is a tv movie i saw about the story of The Monkees a few years back. in it, they get the four members of the band together and make a series of tv shows, and show them to test audiences. the test audiences hate it, they don't get it. the studio panics, what does it do with what it thought was its big new thing? someone then had the idea of getting the audition tapes each of The Monkees made, basically each band member being interviewed by some guy in a suit and being silly in their responses, and putting them at the beginning of the show. they tried it, showed a test audience, and everyone thought it was brilliant.
what had happened was that the reason no one got the show initially, was because they had no idea who these four people in The Monkees were, or more importantly, why they should care about them. putting the show reels at the beginning, introducing them, set the audience up to know the characters of the band before they watched the show, and as such they had an interest in what happened to these people.
it was a dumb movie. but it really stuck in my head that if people are going to read your stuff, you really have to make them care about the characters in it, and the best way to do that is to introduce them somehow. me i've always preferred starting a story in the middle, then finding a way out to the end, and hoping people learn about the characters along the way. but realistically i can't presume people know these characters the same way i do, and so part of trying to nail down the first few pages of story was trying to introduce who's relevant from the start, and let their charms unfold further throughout.
the second thing that changed how i thought of stuff, was when i first approached CN with pitches for tv shows. it took a while until i had something they were interested in, which was essentially a show about two characters hitting each other (obviously there was a little more than that, but since it's in some kinda process right now i can't go further or i'll wake up with the disembodied head of spongebob in my bed). they told me to go away and think WHY these two characters hit each other. this struck me as odd, since, well, it was a cartoon, thats what you do in cartoons. you hit each other. but no, they needed reasons. why did one hate the other? what had happened? how does their relationship affect others they interact with? this was new territory to me, i had no idea cartoons needed a backstory, maybe some personal tragedy in their lives, it was, well, a little creepy. but when i did work out the story behind the...hitting...., suddenly the show opened up and became a much larger idea than the original thin premise. it became easier to write for the characters when i knew why they were how they were, and the potential for developing it further became much bigger.
not sure how interesting that is, but both things changed how i write things. one told me to show people why they should care, the other told me to make sure i had character's lives worked out before i began. both of which keep ringing in my ears while trying to write this comic.
i started kinda writing this comic about a year ago, when i was just sketching out a few pages, trying to get a style. when i sat down to start writing the comic properly a week or two ago, it was a little static at first.
these are rough pages i've scrapped, and redone, and redone, just trying to get the feeling right. getting everyone talking how i think they should be. i think i have maybe the first 6 or so pages written now, i might just draw them up first before trying to write the rest of the comic.
the rough pages give an indication of how the pages will layout too, there's not very much on the page, characters are dotted around in quite a relaxed way. i like it like this, reading through the few pages i've finished, i think it makes for a better read because your eye slides down the page. this also is to do with trying not to use panels to frame each scene in, instead everything is left to float on a page. to do this, i'm drawing each picture about a4 size, which means i'm spending time on them and treating them as individual pictures, and then maybe arranging 3 or 4 of these together to form a page.
the page i drew today started featuring the wooded backgrounds in the previous post, it was weird knowing how to draw trees in pencil (should they be serious or cartoony, etc) but in deciding to just go for it instead of sketching out alternatives, i think it worked out okay. pages are still taking me about a day to do in total, and i'm getting through one pencil per page (seriously i shave these things down to as small as a pencil can get to try and keep the point on them).
i think i wrote too much here. and i'm not entirely sure what i said. so i'll bid you goodnight and go and soak my face in a daschund.
i've lived in alot of different places in the south of england. from the age of about 11 we moved house and area every one or two years, due to my dad being trailed by the feds. they mistook him for a drug baron, what with his huge comedy moustache, when in actual fact he was a harmless porn star in small pants. anyway yes, we moved alot. i miss alot of the places we lived, they were really nice and countrified. in my mind, for as long as i've been planning this comic, and even before, some of them have always been earmarked as great settings. these places are very emo, there are fields to leave bikes in, big trees to sit under, suburban fences to be sarcastic about. and i had a real fondness for the places, not only because they were at times quite beautiful, but also they would be great to destroy in a comic.
today i did the first proper research i think i might have ever done for anything. ringing in my ears as long as i've been an illustrator is the words of my lecturer at college, who said 'yea you draw okay, but imagine how much better you'd be if you actually RESEARCHED what you were drawing instead of making it up'. to be fair, he had a point. i think thats why alot of what i draw is quite simplistic, because i'm drawing it from my mind, and my mind can't be arsed to think how things actually look. this comic however is a different beast, there's alot going into it i want to get right. for a start there's the weapons catalogue mister dean found for me, which contains all manner of brutal weapons, which is perfect for what i'm doing.
i don't think many comic artists like drawing backgrounds. they're a bastard. you wanna concentrate on the fun stuff, the characters hitting each other. but you do kinda need to show where things are set for it to really work. in this comic i'm going to have to do that, but i'd like to keep backgrounds absent where possible (i always really admired bill watterson's backgrounds, and the fact you could show someone was standing in a field by drawing a few blades of grass round their feet). but in the instances when i do need backgrounds, as i say partly to tear apart, i had no doubt in my mind that i would go back to where i grew up to find them.
i've spent the majority of today walking through fields and following hardened tractor tracks, and i'm all shagged out. i took about 300 photos, of two different places i grew up, which i thought i might show some of below. the photos don't quite capture what i see in the places (and, indeed, the potential) but they give an idea.
i lived in edenbridge, kent, when i moved back to my parents after finishing art college. from here i started doing bit-jobs as an illustrator. opposite our house was a tree-lined cricket pitch, and behind that a field where we used to go and sit and get drunk in. we'd hear strange mooing, even though there weren't any cows in the fields. i suspect farmers.
at edenbridge i became something of a recluse, my life was really in the shits. but i grew to really like the place, even though now by all accounts they've built a big fat bypass through the middle of it..
after that we moved to a place called sheffield park, just on the edge of sussex. walking out our front door you fall straight into a crop field (someone else's), beyond that a bluebell wood, beyond that fields. i lived there for about a year before i moved to brighton, and in that time i spent long hours drawing comic books, like space raoul and hoeben. anyway, the whole area was really nice and peaceful, and i used to go for long walks around the fields and get lost. i'd read jane austen while sitting by the pond in the woods (fine. i'm a nancy. but i enjoyed it.). it felt like the sussex you see in period movies. while i was in the woods today i crouched down to take a photo, and when i looked round a deer was virtually nose to nose with me (ration and logic tells me he was wondering if he could crush my skull before i turned round), before he bounded off. it's bambi country. and very serene.
although today alot of where i used to walk was fenced off, farmer's claiming their lands or whatever. i ignored the fencing and kept going, since i knew my way around. it was only when i'd walked through the woods right to the other end, that i climbed over a gate and saw this sign referring to where i'd just been..
the bastards. anyway, research all done! hooray! now i can get these things printed, and make it all up in my head! whoop!
my name is jamie. i draw comic books. i'm guessing you know that since you probably found this journal from the foo5 one, but i thought it polite to be formally introduced. as of a few weeks ago, i am starting on a new comic book, and this journal will accompany its progress from nucleus to grave, as it were..
i've set up this journal for a few reasons. firstly, i've always found it interesting to see how things are created, i usually find the 'preliminary sketches' section of any comic book more interesting than the comic itself. so here is a work in progress, a steady update on the day to day working of someone slowly driving themself insane with their own creative endeavours. i've taken the summer off from all logical, proper, work to concentrate on this comic, which has occurred to me more than once as a bad idea. but i've been putting this project on one side for over a year, so i'd like to devote all my energies to it. so essentially seeing as i'll be working on it nearly every day, it made sense to keep a regular update on how things are going. it's yours to read or comment if you're interested, if not i'm writing this stuff for the exorcism of my own demons anyway, so everyone's happy.
secondly, related to that, it's always great to get feedback on the stuff you do (drawing can be an incredibly solitary experience, akin to other careers such as security guard and serial killer), and so opening up a communication with anyone who might be interested in this stuff would be cool. feel free to comment, insult or, maybe even, spurn, anything you see here. hopefully it'll be fun watching a comic form up until it's published and beyond, hell i dunno. if by day 3 you read the journal entry 'bourbon is my mistress. the devils have my pants' you can presume something has gone terribly wrong in my thought process, and contact the relevant authorities..
lastly, this comic is something entirely new for me. the work i did for Bear was very inked, very compressed, very spontaneous four page mayhem. this is a different direction. while it's still going to be of the same humour and keep (hopefully) the same readers, i do think it would be too easy just to throw out a Bear mark 2 comic, so i'm trying to push myself into different places. while it should make what i do more interesting, also it has to keep me interested (i have a very short attention span) and so changing what i do is just my way of keeping myself amused. as such, this comic involves the following, dangerous, ingredients;
that is all. no okay it's more than that. for a start this will be mostly pencilled art. also i'm trying to not use boxes for panels, as a way of opening up the story. also i won't be cramming so much on a page, so keeping everything flowing nicer. most of the subject matter is new for me, i'm finding myself learning how to draw accessories i've never done before, considering sequences i've never had to think out before. lastly, in choosing to self-publish this rather than through slave labor, it's obviously quite a (possibly stupid) leap of faith in what i do. the whole thing is new for me. and while it's exciting, i'll be honest, it makes me very nervous as well. i'll write more about it in later posts, possibly while drunk.
so yeah, this is the journal for kochiwanaba. even the name is undecided. but i'll start posting things up soon, and with any luck this whole mess might come together and make something good.
in the meantime, this is my desk. notice how brutally i've shortened the pencil and displayed his flesh to him while he dies.